I had a fantastic conversation at the weekend with the wonderful Jessica about mindsets, positivity and being forward focused.
Women feel guilty it seems, all. the. time.
Mother guilt is a common theme, guilty about next exercising, eating too much or not enough, working too much, not working enough, letting people down, being a bad mother, sister, daughter friend….
“Stop the guilt!” I said to her.
“But don’t you have regrets?” She asked me.
We all have regrets. Retrospect is a valuable thing.
Looking back we wished we had done things differently, seized an opportunity that came our way or had handled a situation with grace, compassion and humility instead of with pride, arrogance and selfishness. But you know what? Shit happens.
We’re humans and humans don’t always behave in a predictable or rational manner. Nor are we ever armed with all the information about a situation and we are rarely (if ever) unbiased.
Humans are pretty selfish creatures; generally we act with our own best interests at heart. And you know what? That’s ok.
As we get older our bias is generally less inward focused and more altruistic.
Looking backwards and reliving past experiences and wishing you did things different won’t ever change those situations. The guilt can eat you up inside. We amplify our perceived poor behaviour or choices in our minds by reliving the situation over and over, who is this helping? No one.
Who is this hurting? You. It’s only hurting you.
Guilt and regret are taking the place of positive emotions that will allow you to move on to a happier place.
If you feel bogged down with guilt and regrets, act on them. If you hurt someone, apologise. If you caused harm, fix it.
If these options aren’t available (and rarely are they with long past regrets), try some self-forgiveness exercises.
Write down a list of your regrets, read them, acknowledge them, read them aloud, then throw out (or burn) that list, forgive yourself and move on.
Focus on all the happiness in your life, the positive acts you carry out every day. The smiles you create and the joy you bring to other people’s lives. I guarantee that through your family, friends, your children, your work and through this group you contribute to a wider sense of joy and happiness in the world.
I challenge you to go through a week, 7 whole days, with NO negative self-talk, guilt or retreats.
When the negative thoughts and self-talk start sneaking in…. Shut them down. Create a positivity mantra for your seven day challenge. Such as:
I am a good and valuable person. I create joy every day.
Put a smile on your beautiful face and create seven whole days of happiness to rewire your brain.
Tag us in your smiling selfies: #smartwomenau #smartwomeninbusiness #7dayhappinesschallenge #radiatejoy